so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
