it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
