who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
