I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
