two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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