Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
