That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Randomize
