my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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