So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I feel like death gave me a hand job
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
