Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
