I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
