Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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