he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
