Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
