Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Please don't give away my fajitas
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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