one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
