it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize