Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
