My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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