she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
