Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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