this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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