Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He's on the porch naked. Help.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
