I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
