there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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