Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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