At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
