dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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