I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
