batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
