Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
is this the sara with the beer cane?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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