I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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