Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
