loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
