Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
