there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
