Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Randomize
