Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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