i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
