She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
