I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
