its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
