I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize