pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
