9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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