in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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