high people should be assigned attendants
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
