I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she peed on how many people?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
