Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
