My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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