I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Randomize
