I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
