Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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