I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
