My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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