im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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