its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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