There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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